Be humble, always.
little known fact, once you are older & no longer in school, time stops being real. did that thing happen one year ago? two? five? a few months ago? who knows.
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Friend: Wanna hang out tomorrow?
Me: I actually performed an Activity yesterday. Please wait the three day recovery period to submit another inquiry
my mother, a fool: stop eating so many mozzarella sticks
me, an intellectual: i am sick and tired of this constant kinkshaming